Happy and Merry? Really? YES!

Merry Christmas! I’m feeling like I have to apologize for feeling merry and happy during this season. In the last few weeks, I’ve been privy to several conversations about the holidays, conversations about how hard this time of year can be. I get that. A few moms discussed their opinion that telling your children about Santa Claus was lying to your children and would cause them to distrust you in the future when they found out that you lied. I get that. I’ve heard that some aren’t celebrating Christmas because it has nothing to do with Jesus. Materialism, Commercialization, Stress. I get that. The conversations were between people I love very much, people I respect very much. I do understand, but when I listen, there isn’t any room for me to feel differently without being wrong or bad. My love for the season makes me a materialistic liar who participates in my Savior being exploited for commercial gain. If I am enjoying the stress of the season, I must not be connected to my emotions. No, no one has said that to me personally, they just haven’t left much allowance for someone to think differently. I just want to give a shout out to the other Christmas lovers out there. Jesus’ birth is the most loving thing God has done for me. Without His birth, Jesus couldn’t have died for me. He couldn’t have risen. Probably the most well known Bible verse is John 3:16. I’m not even going to write it out, because you know it. God gave me the gift of Jesus because of love. God made me. He created me specifically. If you know me you’ve probably heard my opinion about embracing the creation that you are. If there are almost 7 billion people in the world and each of them has unique DNA and 10 unique fingerprints and 10 unique toe prints, God seems to be infinitely creative in how He has created us. If He created us that uniquely physically, I believe we are unique socially, academically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... In my humble opinion it isn’t navel gazing to take a look at how you are created; it is honoring to God. God created me with a love language. Mine is gifts. I’m not apologizing for it. I love buying gifts, giving gifts and receiving gifts. I show love in this way. They will know we are Christians by our love. Naïve, maybe, but I think giving gifts at Christmas is loving people. It’s showing them that I know them; I’ve thought about something that just might bring them joy for a bit. I’ve thought about what they need. Christmas is coming for 12 months, so I try to save up each month for the season, and part of the fun is trying to live within my budget. It allows for creativity and strategic planning! I know the 10 commandments tell me not to lie. These commandments were written before the Israelites claimed the Promised Land. They also say not to kill, yet God told the Israelites to kill and even held them responsible when they didn’t complete what He had asked them to do. Soldiers that protect our land may have to make this horrific choice. No, I don’t think killing is something that I could ever do. I don’t even think I personally could be on a death penalty jury. I’m just saying that telling my children there was a Santa was not a lie I ever felt I had to confess. Our children are now 19, 22, 24 and 25. They trust me. When they got to the point where logic got the better of imagination, and they asked if Santa was real, we told them that he was not. He was make-believe. When they asked if we were the ones who bought the gifts, they were filled with gratitude. They thank us for giving them an experience that was a wonderfully fun one for our family. I do respect the choice not to celebrate. I do respect the choice to not “do Santa.” I just know I’m not the only Christmas lover, so for any of you who like me, do think this is a most wonderful season, I respect you too! Enjoy and Happy Holidays. (and by the way, my friend told me that a Christian radio station said that the word “holiday” came from the expression, “holy day” so I’m not taking Christ out of Christmas using that term!:)

Risky Business

I have been taking risks every day. Haven't bungee jumped or parachuted. What have I done? I've put myself out there. Asked for opportunities at the risk of rejection. Said yes. Said no. Risked embarrassment. Which is scarier, doing something physically risky or emotionally so? I think it might be the later.

So have the risks paid dividends? Absolutely, but not in the way I hoped - YET? I didn't die. I even grew stronger. I've had opportunities I wouldn't have had. You want to know what it means to abide in Christ? That's what you do when you are scared to death but do it anyway. Learning that. Had to confront once again insecurities I thought I'd dealt with. This time I got them before they stopped me. That is a pay off for sure.

I'm not stopping, but it's not because of the benefits of risk taking. I'm not stopping because right when I start to doubt myself, God, and I do believe it is God gives me a miraculous encouragement to continue. This week, someone said, "Every opportunity you get is by Divine Design. It's not an accident. Steward your gifts." Won't go into the details, but you talk about a right word spoken at a right time to a needy heart!

Two take aways. One- those people that have unknowingly been instruments that God has played to encourage someone else to continue to live the best and scariest life don't many times even know that a note has come out of them - much less a rhapsody. So, take opportunity to say what is on your heart to those who you come into contact with today. Two - listen to your heart and when it is prompted to take a risk, go for it. Life doesn't have to be a risky business, but try it; it might be a whole lot more fun and rewarding that way. So, take a risk today, and tell me about it. Respond to this blog or drop me an email - jennifervwatson@gmail.com. Blooming in autumn on this beautiful day!

A good mantra, but I didn't know it.

God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him.

How many times was that said when our kids were small? I remember we thought it was important to teach them to pray using their own words instead of a "canned" prayer. I'm thinking we should have focused on believing the words of the prayer rather than changing them.

God is great. He can do anything. He is greater than the world. He is greater than me, greater than the weather, the economy, the bad guys, the government, my fears. He is able and capable. God is great.

When Jesus is about to do something harder than I will ever have to do - willingly give himself up to be crucified, He says to God, (Mark 14:36 in my words) "God, it is possible for you to do anything. You can change this situation, but not what I will, but what You will." God didn't change the hard thing, but in doing the hard thing, God used Jesus to make it possible for all of mankind to be saved. Oh, to trust God's ability to be in control of every situation and then for me to willingly do even the difficult so that I can be used to fulfill the purpose for which I was created.

God is good. He is good, and His definition of good is pure. He knows the big picture and can use anything for good, for my personal good, the good of my family and friends, the good of mankind, the good of the whole world. His idea of good is greater than mine. God is good.

Luke 5:17-26. Some men believed that Jesus could heal their paralyzed friend. Since they couldn't get to him, they lowered their friend down through the roof right in front of Jesus. The scripture says that Jesus, seeing their faith, tells the man that his sins are forgiven. Which is "gooder" - to have everlasting life for eternity, or to walk for a few years, to be spiritually healed or physically? Jesus knew what the man's real needs were and met them, but just to be show the people who He was and what He could do, He healed the man physically as well. The result was the men were astonished and proclaimed that they had seen remarkable things. God was glorified. If I believe that God is good, will I see the remarkable and be astonished?

Let us thank Him.Thank Him for my food for sure. Thank Him for the times He meets my needs, and that I have needs to be met. Thank Him for healing, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Thank Him that I have needs to be healed, that I can be astonished by how He does this. Let me thank Him.

Reading a book, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. She points out that when Jesus seemingly did not have enough - two fish and five loaves of bread to feed thousands - He gave thanks. Immediately, what He needed was multiplied. (John 6:11 says that the people had as much as they wanted. It was an all you can eat buffet. Let me thank Him and watch. At the minimum, I will notice what He is doing instead of taking things for granted.

So today, I pray, God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him. Will you join me?

Is it really all about who you know, or something like that?

Went to a seminar given by a psychiatrist, Curt Thompson, M.D., who has written a book titled Anatomy of the Soul. The material was fresh, certainly not the same ‘ol same ‘ol. Yet, as I think about what I’m taking away from the class, the word that keeps coming to mind is the word “confirmed.” The new material confirmed some thoughts that have been on my mind.One of the first concepts was to talk about how important it is for us to be known by at least a few others – not for others to just know us, know who we are, but to be known by them. This is true. Anyone who has experienced a moment when another person totally understands you knows the powerful feelings that correspond to that moment. God created us knowing we would relish being known. Read I Corinthians 8:3 and 13:12 to be reminded that God Himself knows you.

But if you don’t know who you are, how do you know if someone else truly knows you or not? You might have a good feeling about someone, but you can’t figure out why you feel that, so is your need to be known ever met?

We listened to very scientific material that discussed how Neurobiology and Faith were interconnected. Even after I read the book, I don’t know if I will be able to write anything understandable about specifics of this topic. I certainly won’t try now.

But, some of the more simple concepts I could relate to immediately. How about the fact that the commandment given most often in the Bible is “Do not fear.” Ahh, fear. What are the main things you fear? I fear the unknown. There it is again – the known factor. How can my faith eliminate that fear? By knowing what God says He is doing and knowing who He is, I can “be not afraid.”

I fear rejection. How do I combat those fears? I act on what I know I am called to do regardless of fear. The more I do that, the less I fear rejection. Is there any promise I won’t be rejected? No. But when I don’t act because of fear, I am unfulfilled and feel like my life doesn’t have purpose. That is worse than fear to me.

I fear for my children’s safety. As I discover my own purpose and calling, I come to see that every person created is made for a purpose and calling, and I can’t let me fear stand in the way of what my children are called to do or go through.

So, I have confirmation. I need to be known. I need to know others. I need to believe that God knows me, and I can know Him. I can know what I was created to do, and that gives me peace and purpose. It combats fear.

So, how do you get to know yourself? How do you come to know and be known, a need that was created in us? There are many things you can do, but one is to come to a playshop where we have a lot of fun while discovering the answers to these questions. If you don’t know what a PlayShop is or you want to read about them, go to www.unwrittentravels.com. Hit the “play” tab. At the bottom of that screen click on the blue sentence that says “click here for the details on the PlayShop offerings for 2011!

1000 words a day - Two – Harder than I thought. 1000 is a lot!

When we learned to write and understand stories back in elementary school, we were taught to consider the “Who, What, When, Where and Whys.” Why did Charlotte write words in her web? ? Why did the story happen in a pigpen? The stories were fiction. I’m trying to write non-fiction based on everyday life. There are plenty of times I’ve considered those same questions as life has unfolded. Out of all of these question words, there is one that experience has taught me I don’t really need to ask much anymore. That question is Why?

If asked to conjure up a picture of a child asking, “Why?” you would have no problem doing so. They ask all the time. Why is there a moon at night? Why does your tummy have wrinkles on it? Why can’t I have cookies for breakfast?

Recently while speaking to some moms of teenagers, we discussed the question why. Was, “because I said so,” a valid answer? I thought we did need to explain the reason behind our choices. We did need to tell why. It helps our children to become better decision makers as we explain our thought processes we use when we make decisions. I appreciate that God has been gentle enough to show me the whys of some of the hard times I’ve experienced.

My mom divorced when I was two and remarried when I was three. I had a wonderful father that raised me, but I always felt different. I didn’t like that.

I moved my senior year. It stunk.

I wanted to be pregnant and couldn’t conceive for a while. It was so hard.

We moved and didn’t sell our home in another state for 3 years. I cried.

My mom died at age 63. She had aggressive brain cancer. I hate that.

Sometimes we never know the whys when we are living out a non-fiction story. I have been able to see why these things were truly for my best. I didn’t necessarily believe that when I was in the circumstances, but I do now.

Why would I say that these hard things were best? They built resilience. According to the book, The Only 127 Things You Need by Donna Wilkinson, resilience is one of the few things you really need. It can’t be developed unless you face challenges. You don’t know you have it unless you go through a hard time and make it to the other side. And knowing that you can make it through anything, allows you to have hope especially when times are tough. If you are a parent, this really makes you think doesn’t it? We spend so much time protecting our children from anything hard. We can still hate it for their crushed hearts when they have a disappointment, or have to go through a hard time of their own making, but we can be strong for them knowing that this experience is building something in them that they need to live. We wouldn’t think of not giving them nourishment or shelter. We need to allow them to face challenges, which are like vitamins keeping resilience healthy.

You pray for something, asking for your deepest desires and yearnings to come about. Things don’t go the way you planned. You have a decision to make. Do I believe that God is good? Do I believe He loves me? Do I believe He is not holding out?

As I look back and understand many of the whys of my life, I do believe. When you hear Natalie Wood repeat, “I know it’s silly but I believe” in the movie, Miracle on 34th Street, you hope alongside her, wishing her dreams into reality so her faith will be confirmed. They find the house she dreamed of. Her mom decides to marry the man that Natalie’s character wants for her father. Her hopes did come to fruition.

God knows the big picture. I do not. This fact helps me to still have faith even when I don’t ever understand why.

Looking back on hard times and seeing His orchestration of events for my ultimate good, helps me to believe – to have faith. I can begin to see the good in the hard, or at least to believe it is there. God doesn’t say IF we have hard times, He says WHEN you encounter trials have JOY. No, I’m not happy when I’m sad or mad or disappointed, but I can joyously believe that this will pass and is ultimately for my good. How do you know you have faith if it isn’t challenged? My faith is given a booster shot as I go through the living out the prayers that didn’t go my way.

So, when you are waiting in traffic, when your family fights, when your plans don’t turn out as planned, have faith. If you are tempted to ask why, answer with this, I am resilient. I can do this, and someone bigger than me is taking care of things.

My last post was 1000 words. This one is exactly 900. Why? One of the books on writing that I have read said that editing is your original work minus 10%. So 900 is it. Hoping for you this holiday season that your moments of crying out “WHY” are gentle ones and that they are reduced by 10% from last year☺

A Plea to My Friends

First 1000 Words – a plea to my friends

It’s quite common to have a bucket list. I have a long one. For many years, I have been busy with various jobs, volunteer opportunities and raising a family with four children. While some things on my list have been checked off, it seems I am adding items faster than I can accomplish them. Our youngest child is a high school senior. If you’ve had one of those, you know they are very busy, self-reliant and gone a lot. I now have time to start emptying some items from my bucket before I “kick it.”

When I think back to the resolutions I have kept and the goals I’ve actually completed, I find that I do best with a purpose, a partner, or both. When I want to get back to running, I have to have a race in mind to work toward. When I set out to write a book, I can honestly say it would never have happened without my friend, Jenny Black.

Knowing my M.O, I’m asking for you to be my partner, and I’m going to describe my purpose. I’m hoping that you will help me with one of my list items? I would like to develop my writing skills. How do I do that? Practice. For the next year, I am going to write 1000 words a day, 5 days a week. Once a week I will post something on this blog to keep me honest. That is where you come in. There will be a notice on Facebook that I have posted something on my blog. (If you are reading this and are not on Facebook, send me your email, and I’ll make sure you get the message.) Please read my post and let me know what you think. I’m not asking for editing, although I’m sure you’ll find a lot that you could contribute. I’m asking for your thoughts and reactions to the ideas. This particular blog post will be longer than most, but there is a purpose behind that. Read to the end to find out why it is lengthy. Some of you may have already guessed. How is that for a teaser?

Ahh, the content, what will I blog about? I’ve been reading lots of books about writing. Many of them say, “Write what you know.” This led me to make another kind of list, a list of what I know. I know that it is easy to forget who you are in the midst of raising a family. I know how to help you remember who you are in case you have forgotten. I know it is important to accept yourself and to find your purpose. I know how to help people do that. I know what it feels like to think that you are just not as smart as other people, or not as nice or pretty. I know what it feels like to fear that you are losing any beauty you did have. I know how to find joy in every day. I know the thrill of believing that God just spoke through you because you just said something you didn’t know a few minutes before. I’m sure as I write my way through each day, there will be many things I come to know in the process that I can share with you, my bucket list buddies.

Over the next year there will be many changes in my life. As I stated, we will begin the empty nest phase of life. Our oldest child is getting married. One child will receive a master’s degree and will be looking for employment; one will begin his senior year of college - lots of transitions. As you respond to me, you will be sharing what you know. We may not get college credit for the lessons we learn together, but I’m hoping things will be thought provoking and most of the time a lot of fun.

Those of you who know me well, know that I can say 1000 words probably without taking a breath, or giving anyone else a chance to say a word. Boy, will this be different. As I have written this, day one of my 1000 words a day attempt, I found myself wanting to divide compound words into two separate words. My daughter told me a trick she has used in college. There have been times when a professor assigned a paper and designated it to be a certain length and font size. If she has written what she thinks is a complete paper, but her paper just doesn’t quite take up the allotted space, she somehow highlights the periods in the paper and makes just the periods one font size larger. It adds a little length without anyone being the wiser.

About now, I find myself wondering if there are any tricks like that I can do to create more words and still write properly.

As you may have guessed, I wanted this first post to be exactly 1000 words. I thought briefly that maybe I’d try to make the length of each week’s post exactly 1000 words, until I sat down and started typing. Each time I checked my word count I realized how many words 1000 really is, especially on one topic. So thanks for sticking with this entry for all 1000. I hope you are intrigued. I’m happy if you are even a willing friend, or just someone who has a hard time saying no. Thanks in advance for your support. Let me know if you choose to help and when you do let me know, tell me one item that is on your bucket list so that I can begin hoping alongside you, hoping that you get to check off some items soon. Sign up to follow this blog if that will make it easier, and if I can ever partner with you to empty an item from your bucket please ask.

Need a wife? Try a life coach instead

Many of my girfriends have commented that they need a wife. No, they aren't talking about same sex marriage. They are happy with their husbands. They just need someone to help them do all the things wives stereotypically do. For most of us, we have to find a way to "just do it." But anyone that knows me knows that the idea of living life by just gutting it out is not the way I want to roll.

Meeting with a life coach helps you to come to a place of balance in your life. It can help you learn to fit in what you want and need to do alongside what you have to do. Some time ago I took a class to become certified in life coaching. As I have begun to go through the process step-by-step with people it has been wonderful. It works. Read about it below. If getting a wife isn't going to happen for you, and you are intrigued, contact me.

The Lifecoaching Process

Session 1 – Interview Session
This session will last approximately 2-hours. The coach asks the client a series of questions about several different areas of their life. The client evaluates their present satisfaction in each of these areas.

Session 2 – Vision Session
Within a week you meet for a second one-hour session. The client will receive their Life Vision Statement prepared by the life coach from the information discussed in Session One. This statement describes your life as if all the areas discussed previously are exactly as the client desires them to be. The client and coach review the statement together. The statement is taken home and read at least three times daily for the next week.

Session 3 – Strategy Session
In one week, the client and coach will meet again for about one and a half hours. The client will select one area of life that will be the area of focus. Strategies will be discussed to move the client from where they are to where they desire to be. The client takes the plan home to implement.

Session 4 – Evaluation Session
This session takes place one month after the strategy session. Progress is reviewed. At this time the client makes a decision. New strategies can be developed if more progress is needed in the area of focus, or a new area of focus can be selected. If a new area is selected, the coach and client will strategize in this area. The client may also choose to end the coaching sessions until more help is needed.

The cost for the four-session program is $125.00. If the client wishes to continue, sessions 3 & 4 will be repeated in different life areas at the cost of $55.00 for the two hour session.