1000 words a day - Two – Harder than I thought. 1000 is a lot!

When we learned to write and understand stories back in elementary school, we were taught to consider the “Who, What, When, Where and Whys.” Why did Charlotte write words in her web? ? Why did the story happen in a pigpen? The stories were fiction. I’m trying to write non-fiction based on everyday life. There are plenty of times I’ve considered those same questions as life has unfolded. Out of all of these question words, there is one that experience has taught me I don’t really need to ask much anymore. That question is Why?

If asked to conjure up a picture of a child asking, “Why?” you would have no problem doing so. They ask all the time. Why is there a moon at night? Why does your tummy have wrinkles on it? Why can’t I have cookies for breakfast?

Recently while speaking to some moms of teenagers, we discussed the question why. Was, “because I said so,” a valid answer? I thought we did need to explain the reason behind our choices. We did need to tell why. It helps our children to become better decision makers as we explain our thought processes we use when we make decisions. I appreciate that God has been gentle enough to show me the whys of some of the hard times I’ve experienced.

My mom divorced when I was two and remarried when I was three. I had a wonderful father that raised me, but I always felt different. I didn’t like that.

I moved my senior year. It stunk.

I wanted to be pregnant and couldn’t conceive for a while. It was so hard.

We moved and didn’t sell our home in another state for 3 years. I cried.

My mom died at age 63. She had aggressive brain cancer. I hate that.

Sometimes we never know the whys when we are living out a non-fiction story. I have been able to see why these things were truly for my best. I didn’t necessarily believe that when I was in the circumstances, but I do now.

Why would I say that these hard things were best? They built resilience. According to the book, The Only 127 Things You Need by Donna Wilkinson, resilience is one of the few things you really need. It can’t be developed unless you face challenges. You don’t know you have it unless you go through a hard time and make it to the other side. And knowing that you can make it through anything, allows you to have hope especially when times are tough. If you are a parent, this really makes you think doesn’t it? We spend so much time protecting our children from anything hard. We can still hate it for their crushed hearts when they have a disappointment, or have to go through a hard time of their own making, but we can be strong for them knowing that this experience is building something in them that they need to live. We wouldn’t think of not giving them nourishment or shelter. We need to allow them to face challenges, which are like vitamins keeping resilience healthy.

You pray for something, asking for your deepest desires and yearnings to come about. Things don’t go the way you planned. You have a decision to make. Do I believe that God is good? Do I believe He loves me? Do I believe He is not holding out?

As I look back and understand many of the whys of my life, I do believe. When you hear Natalie Wood repeat, “I know it’s silly but I believe” in the movie, Miracle on 34th Street, you hope alongside her, wishing her dreams into reality so her faith will be confirmed. They find the house she dreamed of. Her mom decides to marry the man that Natalie’s character wants for her father. Her hopes did come to fruition.

God knows the big picture. I do not. This fact helps me to still have faith even when I don’t ever understand why.

Looking back on hard times and seeing His orchestration of events for my ultimate good, helps me to believe – to have faith. I can begin to see the good in the hard, or at least to believe it is there. God doesn’t say IF we have hard times, He says WHEN you encounter trials have JOY. No, I’m not happy when I’m sad or mad or disappointed, but I can joyously believe that this will pass and is ultimately for my good. How do you know you have faith if it isn’t challenged? My faith is given a booster shot as I go through the living out the prayers that didn’t go my way.

So, when you are waiting in traffic, when your family fights, when your plans don’t turn out as planned, have faith. If you are tempted to ask why, answer with this, I am resilient. I can do this, and someone bigger than me is taking care of things.

My last post was 1000 words. This one is exactly 900. Why? One of the books on writing that I have read said that editing is your original work minus 10%. So 900 is it. Hoping for you this holiday season that your moments of crying out “WHY” are gentle ones and that they are reduced by 10% from last year☺

A Plea to My Friends

First 1000 Words – a plea to my friends

It’s quite common to have a bucket list. I have a long one. For many years, I have been busy with various jobs, volunteer opportunities and raising a family with four children. While some things on my list have been checked off, it seems I am adding items faster than I can accomplish them. Our youngest child is a high school senior. If you’ve had one of those, you know they are very busy, self-reliant and gone a lot. I now have time to start emptying some items from my bucket before I “kick it.”

When I think back to the resolutions I have kept and the goals I’ve actually completed, I find that I do best with a purpose, a partner, or both. When I want to get back to running, I have to have a race in mind to work toward. When I set out to write a book, I can honestly say it would never have happened without my friend, Jenny Black.

Knowing my M.O, I’m asking for you to be my partner, and I’m going to describe my purpose. I’m hoping that you will help me with one of my list items? I would like to develop my writing skills. How do I do that? Practice. For the next year, I am going to write 1000 words a day, 5 days a week. Once a week I will post something on this blog to keep me honest. That is where you come in. There will be a notice on Facebook that I have posted something on my blog. (If you are reading this and are not on Facebook, send me your email, and I’ll make sure you get the message.) Please read my post and let me know what you think. I’m not asking for editing, although I’m sure you’ll find a lot that you could contribute. I’m asking for your thoughts and reactions to the ideas. This particular blog post will be longer than most, but there is a purpose behind that. Read to the end to find out why it is lengthy. Some of you may have already guessed. How is that for a teaser?

Ahh, the content, what will I blog about? I’ve been reading lots of books about writing. Many of them say, “Write what you know.” This led me to make another kind of list, a list of what I know. I know that it is easy to forget who you are in the midst of raising a family. I know how to help you remember who you are in case you have forgotten. I know it is important to accept yourself and to find your purpose. I know how to help people do that. I know what it feels like to think that you are just not as smart as other people, or not as nice or pretty. I know what it feels like to fear that you are losing any beauty you did have. I know how to find joy in every day. I know the thrill of believing that God just spoke through you because you just said something you didn’t know a few minutes before. I’m sure as I write my way through each day, there will be many things I come to know in the process that I can share with you, my bucket list buddies.

Over the next year there will be many changes in my life. As I stated, we will begin the empty nest phase of life. Our oldest child is getting married. One child will receive a master’s degree and will be looking for employment; one will begin his senior year of college - lots of transitions. As you respond to me, you will be sharing what you know. We may not get college credit for the lessons we learn together, but I’m hoping things will be thought provoking and most of the time a lot of fun.

Those of you who know me well, know that I can say 1000 words probably without taking a breath, or giving anyone else a chance to say a word. Boy, will this be different. As I have written this, day one of my 1000 words a day attempt, I found myself wanting to divide compound words into two separate words. My daughter told me a trick she has used in college. There have been times when a professor assigned a paper and designated it to be a certain length and font size. If she has written what she thinks is a complete paper, but her paper just doesn’t quite take up the allotted space, she somehow highlights the periods in the paper and makes just the periods one font size larger. It adds a little length without anyone being the wiser.

About now, I find myself wondering if there are any tricks like that I can do to create more words and still write properly.

As you may have guessed, I wanted this first post to be exactly 1000 words. I thought briefly that maybe I’d try to make the length of each week’s post exactly 1000 words, until I sat down and started typing. Each time I checked my word count I realized how many words 1000 really is, especially on one topic. So thanks for sticking with this entry for all 1000. I hope you are intrigued. I’m happy if you are even a willing friend, or just someone who has a hard time saying no. Thanks in advance for your support. Let me know if you choose to help and when you do let me know, tell me one item that is on your bucket list so that I can begin hoping alongside you, hoping that you get to check off some items soon. Sign up to follow this blog if that will make it easier, and if I can ever partner with you to empty an item from your bucket please ask.

Need a wife? Try a life coach instead

Many of my girfriends have commented that they need a wife. No, they aren't talking about same sex marriage. They are happy with their husbands. They just need someone to help them do all the things wives stereotypically do. For most of us, we have to find a way to "just do it." But anyone that knows me knows that the idea of living life by just gutting it out is not the way I want to roll.

Meeting with a life coach helps you to come to a place of balance in your life. It can help you learn to fit in what you want and need to do alongside what you have to do. Some time ago I took a class to become certified in life coaching. As I have begun to go through the process step-by-step with people it has been wonderful. It works. Read about it below. If getting a wife isn't going to happen for you, and you are intrigued, contact me.

The Lifecoaching Process

Session 1 – Interview Session
This session will last approximately 2-hours. The coach asks the client a series of questions about several different areas of their life. The client evaluates their present satisfaction in each of these areas.

Session 2 – Vision Session
Within a week you meet for a second one-hour session. The client will receive their Life Vision Statement prepared by the life coach from the information discussed in Session One. This statement describes your life as if all the areas discussed previously are exactly as the client desires them to be. The client and coach review the statement together. The statement is taken home and read at least three times daily for the next week.

Session 3 – Strategy Session
In one week, the client and coach will meet again for about one and a half hours. The client will select one area of life that will be the area of focus. Strategies will be discussed to move the client from where they are to where they desire to be. The client takes the plan home to implement.

Session 4 – Evaluation Session
This session takes place one month after the strategy session. Progress is reviewed. At this time the client makes a decision. New strategies can be developed if more progress is needed in the area of focus, or a new area of focus can be selected. If a new area is selected, the coach and client will strategize in this area. The client may also choose to end the coaching sessions until more help is needed.

The cost for the four-session program is $125.00. If the client wishes to continue, sessions 3 & 4 will be repeated in different life areas at the cost of $55.00 for the two hour session.

In Heaven there is no beer.

In heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here.

Ok, I’m not really a beer drinker, but isn’t this an interesting thought? Kind of the antithesis of how I think about heaven. I think of heaven as the place I won’t HAVE to do things that I HAVE to do here on Earth. Surely there won’t be bills to pay or laundry to do in heaven. But the author of the beer quote looks at things the opposite way. What will we not GET to do in heaven that we GET to do here on Earth?

Will there be money in heaven? Probably not, so you won’t have to pay bills, but you also won’t GET to bless people financially. The holiday season is coming up. The Rescue Mission needs money to feed the homeless a decent Thanksgiving dinner. The angel trees will be in every mall, and so will we. To be honest, in the past I have felt this all a burden. Who SHOULD I give to? I HAVE to bring coats for the coat drive. I’m reframing this year. I GET to help others with my financial resources. I won’t GET to do that in heaven, so I’m going to enjoy the opportunity to do now.

What else will we not GET to do in heaven? We won’t GET the chance to forgive people. We won’t GET to love our enemies. I doubt we’ll have a chance to take care of orphans and widows. Will we be able to cast our anxiety upon Him? I doubt we’ll have any, so I’m going to take advantage of my opportunity to do that. I won’t GET to pray for people or encourage them in their spiritual growth, at least I don’t think so. I don’t think that will be needed. I GET to do that now!

In our book, Unwritten Travels, we have a challenge to consider yourself a philanthropist when you serve others instead of a slave. Reframing something can have an amazing impact if we can remember to do it. So, this holiday season, reframe. Be thankful at Thanksgiving. Be thankful for all your blessings, especially all the blessings that we GET to be a part of for the rest of our earthly lives.

Give it a good rest - a new kind of muscle recovery.

As Aretha says, “Think. Let your mind go. Let yourself be free.”

What do you daydream about? Is this question becoming as obsolete as, “What is your home telephone number?” Both daydreams and home telephones are going by the wayside as technology advances. Now, we walk around with everything from personal music playlists, our favorite electronic games and access to all the information available on the Internet in our palms at all times.

While the demise of the home phone doesn’t trouble me except for the fact that I can’t look up numbers in the phone book, the demise of the daydream troubles me deeply. How are daydreams and advancing technology related? We are always plugged in. Our minds don’t have any time to rest and be unstimulated by outside sources.

But what about the things your inside sources want to tell you? When I’ve handled a situation poorly, I daydream about how I will do things differently the next time. It’s called learning from my mistakes☺. Somehow knowing I’ll do it differently in the future frees me from the standard of perfection. Or maybe it’s knowing that I’ll mess up again and life will still be OK. When something goes well, embarrassingly I’ll admit, I replay it in my mind and all those positive feelings fill me up. I want those feelings again, so I am motivated to participate in opportunities like the ones I dreamed about. String enough of those experiences along, and you are living one fulfilled life.

Lately I’ve even started something new, allowing my mind to rest from thinking. I’ll describe my procedure at the risk of sounding like your weird Aunt Edna. But this is a risk I’m willing to take to pay it forward.

Find a place. When no one is home, it is my couch in the family room Sometimes it is my bathtub. The significant thing about the place is that it is comfortable. Now close your eyes and actually try to relax the muscle that is your brain. Think of where one end of your brain would be and try to focus on relaxing that area. Then move to each side, relaxing as you go. Relax the center of your brain. If you continue trying this, I promise you will all of a sudden feel what it feels like for your brain to be relaxed; you will want to feel this again. The next time you try, you will get there more quickly. Now, sit in that for a few minutes and then allow your brain to think about anything it wants. Allow it to have it’s own agenda. I can’t wait for you to experience this. Don’t have a journal sitting there. Just think.

Now, I’ll admit that coming from a Christian who believes that the Spirit of God lives in her, I believe that what I am hearing is the voice of God. Sometimes I am comforted. Sometimes I realize that there is something I need to take care of. Sometimes I receive words that I think are for the encouragement of someone else. I’m doing this daily now, or at least trying to. Don’t want to miss it. Don’t want you to.

So, put away your phone. Unplug in a focused way for a few minutes a day. Think of a way to adapt this for your children and teach them to listen to their souls. I’ll admit that this comes from someone who still has a home phone that people call all the time to find out what I think about things, and I usually know.

Try it and then comment on this blog to let me know what you think. If you think I’m on to something, and you want more ideas check out our book, Unwritten Travels, and read the Soul Searching Chapter. I more than think you’ll love it.

Sometimes, it IS about you!

Recently in a church sermon, the pastor said that we are created to glorify God. We reflect Him to the world. Think about how you are uniquely created. I can shed a hair somewhere and the right scientist can pick it up and know that ‘Jenny Watson was here.’


When Adam and Eve were in the garden and had eaten the fruit, they were hiding from God. God asks them the question, “Where are you?” From everything I know about God, He knew where they were. He was asking them where they were in relationship to Him, or maybe where were they trying to hide. I wonder if God sees us and asks, “Where are you, Jenny? Where is that woman I created? Where are you hiding her? Can you find her and bring her out so she can glorify Me and reflect Me to the world? Who is this person you are masquerading as?”


Only acknowledging your physical uniqueness is like walking up to a masterpiece in a museum and saying, “Oh, nice frame.” Isn’t it giving God glory to take time to really look at the masterpiece of His creation that you are? This summer I encourage you to take an art appreciation class, and the art you are studying is yourself. Unwritten Travels was birthed a year ago. In the last year we have seen the strokes, texture, color and design working through it can add to a woman’s life. Get your copy today and use it for your art appreciation textbook as you study yourself this summer! Or better yet, join a playshop and take the class with others. It could be one of the most fun and meaningful summers of your life!

My kids are big people

Having a blog is a scary thing. Do I really share myself, or do I just write something that is hopefully entertaining to read? If I am vulnerable, I am holding myself up to be judged. But, I have determined to live a brave life, so here I go…

In the autumn of my season of parenting, I am awed by the adults my children are, or are becomming. I am pleasantly surprised that we think the oldest three are mature enough to get married. They take care of their finances. They take care of their health. They are 19-23 years old. The only reason I don’t include Lily in this is that she is 17 and still a minor. She is a very responsible 17-year-old, and I have no doubt that I’ll be saying these things about her also after she leaves our home.

Not too many years ago, a “kid” could graduate from high school at age 18, get a job, get married and live. They might work at Exxon or at Purity Dairies or for IBM. They would raise a family, maybe even a large one. Along with their wife, they would join a bowling league, or play bridge or golf - probably would be active in their church. After 35 or more years they would retire from their careers. They’d make it to 50 or more years of marriage.

Fast forward to 2010. When we hear that “kids” are getting married after they graduate from college at 22 or 23 (depending on if we held them back when starting school because they weren’t ready), we think that is too young. We question whether they are ready for this much responsibility. It’s hard for them to keep a job or stay in a marriage. Surely, you could make an argument to blame the culture, but I think the number one biggest determining factor in how and when children grow up and become responsible is how they are “parented.”

“Parented” is put in quotes, because I don’t know when it became such an action word, a verb. You were a parent – a noun. Obviously you wanted the adjective before the noun to be a positive one; the goal was to be a GOOD parent, but what was the definition of that?

Just like all of you, I read books about parenting from the time I had a line that showed positive on the pregnancy-testing strip; there is some great material out there. I read Dare to Discipline by Charles Dobson. Think it’s great, at least for children up to 13 years old or so. But I wish someone would write a book called, Dare to Raise A Self-Disciplined Person. Somewhere along the way, parenting seems to have become about control. I think this is motivated by fear. If we don’t control things, then the culture is going to eat our kids up. If anything the fear motivates us to control all the more when our children enter the teen years.

Now if my children are reading this, they probably will say that I controlled them. They claim that I made them go to bed at 7:30 when it was still light outside until they were in middle school. I dispute this claim totally, but do know that having had four kids in right under six years, I am sane, so maybe I did do things like that, I’m just saying….

What is my point? My point is discipline and control away, but at some point, (I think when your child becomes a teen) we need to move to a team approach. As a wise friend reminded me recently, it’s not “us” against “them;” it’s, “we are a team working together to reach all of our goals.” When your child leaves home at 18 years old to go to college, that’s it. Your parenting needs to be basically done. They need to have the skills to make their own decisions. They need to have already decided what their values are. God told Adam to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. He didn’t even have a mother and father. It was one of the first things God said about parenting. So, if you are a parent of a teen, remember the goal is to instill in them that they can do it better than you did. The goal is for them to leave and be an independent person, and for us to just sit back and be awed.

Fairy Tales Really Do Come True

I tried out for cheerleader every year for 6 years. I REALLY wanted to be a cheerleader and thought I would be a great one if given the chance. Even though I have never been able to do a cartwheel, I actually made it pretty far each year until I would finally be cut. That says something for my enthusiasm, because believe it or not, I actually would do a forward roll for my gymnastics. Yes, a forward roll, commonly called a somersault – those things you teach your two year olds to do. Check your face right now, are you smiling or horrified? This probably speaks somehow to your temperament. You know I either have no pride, or I really wanted this.
It’s probably needless to say; I never made it. But, while going through Unwritten Travels during our most recent playshop, I came to a startling realization. I am a cheerleader! A cheerleader is an enthusiastic and vocal supporter who applauds and motivates others to get excited. What do I get to do every day for my job? I support women to go from where they are to where they want to be. I applaud them as they grow in their life. I thought I’d be wearing a mini-skirt and get to use pom-poms. It looks a little different than I thought, but I know it’s far more rewarding. That dream that was put on my heart way back as a preteen, came true and in even a better way than I ever thought possible.

Now, I’m looking back, taking time to remember what other dreams I may have forgotten. As I do, I am awed. Dreams really do come true. I have a charm bracelet. Although I don’t wear it much, it is a beautiful physical scrapbook commemorating life events. For Mother’s Day I know what I’m asking for, a charm of a pom-pom. If I wear my bracelet it will be with a much longer skirt that the one I would’ve worn back in school, but I’ll wear it with joy, and I won’t even have to do a somersault in public.

I am an anemone.

Many of my friends are wondering, "What now?" Their kids are growing up. They have more time. If they are working, they have freedom to decide if they want to change or stay in their current career. I was a stay-at-home mom. OK, I addressed Christmas cards for money. I made hair bows for a company from home.(I was really bad at that. Got paid hourly, and REALLY made about $2.00 an hour!) I worked part-time at various jobs for the YMCA, but basically, I was a career mom. Many wondered what I would do when my kids left home. I wondered. But with Lily, a high school Junior who drives and dances and dates and goes to her youth group, the only child left at home, I am filled with anticipation. I can now pursue new dreams. I know what my dreams are. I am in the autumn of life, but I am blooming. Looking up flowers that bloom in autumn, I discovered the anemone. Thought this was only something from Finding Nemo. It is also a land flower. Anemones - single vibrant flowers bloom atop long slender stems. Also known as wildflowers. Bloom in shades of pink, purple, red and white. Prefers full sun. Makes an ideal cut flower. Who wouldn't want to be vibrant? Who wouldn't want to sit atop ling slender stems? A little wild is good! The shades are perfect, and I certainly prefer full sun. Works well alone? Describes me! So I am an anemone, a hopeful one. Hoping that if you are reading this blog, you also will be excited about life whatever season you are in. Find your flower. Had shared my blooming thoughts with my husband. He surprised me by ordering some bulbs for me. I didn't know that and bought some. We will have a yard full this fall. Just fine with me!!